Bumberlaughs

Guys. Bumbershoot was last weekend and on top of an amazing amount of free Starbucks I was able to see a crap ton of comedians. And this is usually not my entertainment of choice. Something about stand up comedy makes me so incredibly uneasy. I usually just sit in terror that they’re going to a.) bomb b.) panic and start heckling the audience and then c.) get booed off the stage. I can’t help but empathize with those performers–I think it might be the hardest performing art.

But I wanted to be sure to give you guys a run down of who you should be Youtubing on your lunch break. I loved them and hopefully you will too.

Nick Thune did NOT look this good when we saw him. But he was hilarious and even picked on my friend Travis. I should preemptively send him a “you’re welcome” card for name dropping him on PopFountain.

A Letter to Amanda Bynes

Dear Amanda,

This feels like some kind of alternate Ask Ashley segment from All That episodes of yore, but I have to talk to you. I heard about what you’ve done. And all I have to say is: I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that you’re an idiot.

A Disaster of ‘Titanic’ Proportions? Apparently.

Have you heard the latest development in all this Gulf oil spill business?  No, not that bit about betting on which endangered species gets wiped out first.  It… well, I can’t really explain it without laughing, so I’ll direct you to a reputable news source to unveil the latest attempt at plugging the hole.  Read up!

Now listen. 

Be a Mother Lover

My sister found the cutest website today to celebrate Mother’s Day. You can send your mom a video clip from CNNBC that features her as the Mother of the Decade. Celeb testimonials include America “Real Women have Curves and are Ugly” Ferrera and mom of the Willenium Michelle Obama. My mom loves stuff like this. Most moms do. It’s right up there with crying at Hallmark commercials and buying bulk boxed wine. Make the video, send her the link and DON’T FORGET TO CALL HOME TOMORROW. Even though she promises to start learning how to text, a phone call is still the best option. And isn’t it worth it so that you too can be cool and thoughtful?

Happy Mother’s Day!

Suicide: “Cerenberg and the City”

Christ, kid, take it easy on the Mountain Dew!

Remember when you were a little kid and you’d go to a gas station and get a pop and much to your mom’s chagrin you’d mix all of the flavors together until what was in your cup was a brown cacophony of syrupy sweetness that you wouldn’t dream of drinking now that you’re all *cough*mature*cough*?  Well, that’s kind of what it’s like going into a conversation between Kiki and me.  We start out talking about one thing but quickly add in so many other topics that by the end we’re not really sure what we’ve wound up talking about… just that it was insightful, revelatory gold (even if only to us.)  From time to time, we hope you will indulge us (and let’s face it, if you’re reading this, you probably already are) as we share with you our “Conversational Suicides” such as this one, which stems from my recent conversation with Ms. Abba regarding her negative feelings toward Jesse Eisenberg.

MICHAEL: So, the cat’s out of the bag: you’re not a Jesse Eisenberg fan.  Why, Kiki?  What gives?

KIKI: When will the tabloids stop printing these vicious lies? For the record I would like to publicly state that I do not dislike Jesse Eisenberg.  Anyone that likes Michael Cera (which I do and you don’t, Mr. Trenary) can’t possibly dislike Jesse Eisenberg. They are basically the same person. Except Jesse can probably open his mouth all the way.

M: Where would you say this ‘vicious’ rumor stems from?  There has to be a reason people think you like Jesse Eisenberg even less than you like Kirsten Dunst.

K: A of all, let’s not even bring up that bland piece of boring, Kirsten Dunst or I might have to become violent. B of all, here’s the truth of the matter: I didn’t like Adventureland or Zombieland. Granted, my expectations for Adventureland were way too high. I thought it would be more Superbad and less Nick & Nora. (See? I even had to use Michael Cera movies to make an accurate comparison.) It just wasn’t funny. Although I don’t think it was meant to be. It was probably meant to be more poignant and a coming of age story and… I’m getting bored just typing this. And why Bill Hader and Kristin Wiig bothered to be in it is beyond me.