Finales Finally

One of our faithful PopFountain addicts pointed me to a survey on EW about this season’s finales that I’ve quickly come up with my responses to. Hey, better to read my opinions here than me posting it as a note on Facebook. Am I right?

She's f***ing Matt Damon. Hopefully.

Best Death: Jack from LOST wins hands down. It might be time for that guy to get nominated for an Emmy.
Most Welcome Exit for an Unloved Character: Vaughn on Community. Little nipples are not okay.
Best Overall Ending to an Otherwise Crappy Season: V. It wasn’t for everyone but I thought they went out strong. Cest la vie visitors.
Worst Overall Ending to an Otherwise Solid Season: Community. What happened that was funny in this episode? No, really?
Best Romantic Cliffhanger: Michael and Holly on The Office. I know, I’m the only one still watching. But it beats that four-some on Community.
Best Non-Romantic Cliffhanger: 30 Rock. If Matt Damon is supposed to be the love of Liz Lemon’s life, how the hell is that going to work out? Unless he becomes a regular I’ll be very, VERY disappointed.
Best Kiss: Jack and Kate on LOST. That aggression was steamy.
Best Fight (Verbal or Physical): More like Best Sexual Tension which of course goes to Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest.
Top Tissue Moment (Single tear or sobfest): LOS…I can’t even finish typing it without getting choked up again.
Most Clever Single Twist: I hate to sound like a broken Dharma record, but the Sideways/Purgatory story takes the cake.
Weakest Single Twist: Annie kissing Andy on Parks and Recreation. Yawn, boring, saw that coming 2 seasons ago.
Funniest Half Hour: Modern Family, although I don’t think it was their strongest episode by a long shot. They should have ended on the Hawaii vacay.
Spookiest Image: Why is this even a category?
Most Rewound Moment: Last 10 mins of LOST.
SPECIAL AWARD: Biggest Regret That I Didn’t See It, I Just Read About It: Grey’s Anatomy. Apparently not watching for the past 2 years doesn’t matter and I should still watch this finale. But I probably won’t.

And here are a few categories of my own:

I’ll take “Don’t Add Crappy New Characters” for 100, Alex.

As a college student I didn’t have time for TV. No Thursday night line-ups on NBC. No TGIF on ABC. Not even a Movie and a Makeover Sunday with TBS.

But now I’m a bonafide working girl with a less strenuous schedule and Hulu has taken away any barrier between me and the small screen. I’ve unearthed my IV drip of yore, plugged it directly into my MacBook and with only a few hits a day I’m back in my TV coma. While I’m propped up on my Tempur-Pedic bed waiting for my jello to arrive I’ll confess that I am actively following LOST, The Office, Modern Family, V, 30 Rock, Community, Parks and Recreation, Glee, and the occasional Project Runway. Damn, it feels good.

Looking at this line-up I notice a lot of newcomers. Shows that are doing pretty well in their first season with no looming signs of cancellation in sight. LET ME WARN ALL OF YOU. You will be tempted to add new characters in future seasons. But listen to this re-lapsed TV junky: I beg you, choose wisely. There is right way to do it. And there is a very, very wrong way to do it.